Blame….some of my co-workers were talking about perceived medical malpractice this morning (I say perceived because I think it is probably arguable whether the situation in question would have been malpractice but I am not a lawyer…just skeptical of following crowds I guess.) and it started me thinking- a dangerous occupation I know. It made me wonder why we so often want to look for someone or something to blame for bad things. My co-workers were suggesting that when anesthesia fails that the anesthesiologist should always be sued. I questioned this since I doubt we even fully understand how some chemicals operate, why should we blame the anesthesiologist for a failing that was possibly chemical? It seems like they were wanting to shoot the messenger. How often do we place blame without really thinking about the situation? And what about forgiveness? What role does forgiveness play in situations of negligence? What about situations of misconduct?
What blame do we place in RA? I don’t think I have any answers to that question right now, but it is an interesting question. If we choose to place blame, where are we putting it? At the very least maybe we should be more aware of when we are placing blame. Just a random thought.
In other news I actually did make it to the gym yesterday. And just like the first cut being the deepest, the first mile is the most painful; after that I start to remember how to run. I only did a very short run due to time constraints and having a few remaining shreds of sanity, but I am at least glad I made myself get out and run again. Eventually I will be better off because of it- maybe not this morning, but eventually.
I also went and rode Strider last night. We just had a relaxing evening playing around in the outdoor. I wasn’t feeling ambitious enough to jump since it was his first time in that outdoor arena since he showed at this barn once earlier this year, but we just took it easy and rode around with no real goal in mind. It was super relaxing and resulted in some of the best work we have done in ages of course. He really was fantastic, considering it was dusk and his second time in that arena. He was a little looky at first, but settled in very quickly and seemed to enjoy being outside for a change. I did something drastic last night though- I shortened my stirrups. I will see what my trainer says when she sees them, but I have been driven nuts by me recent tendency, only in my dressage saddle, to pull my heels up. So, on a hunch, I shortened my stirrups and instantly the problem was mostly corrected. I felt way better. I guess I am still a jumper rider at heart wanting my nice short stirrups. I am totally loving the new barn. Maybe it’s a honeymoon phase, but I love that my horse is looked after so carefully, the barn owner even let me know when she accidentally made a mistake in my horses feed and later realized it and told me what she had done to correct it. Boarding with my trainer is fantastic because I can involve her in more decisions and that makes me feel better about so many things. I want what is best for my horse so having a more educated person helping me means a lot. It was wonderful to be able to get her opinion on his weight and what dietary changes we may consider making once he is more settled. (And it was vindicating for her to tell me he isn’t fat- one or two people had told me he looks fat and I have never thought he was. He is supposed to be large!). I have been around horses my whole life but never had a horse as challenging to keep as Strider and really have quite a lot to learn. Having someone to help me through that process is a relief.
Tonight is a night off for Strider though. Vanya is getting his shots and it will be a knitting and psych night. Maybe I will even bake something. We’ll see. First, I need to get to the gym over lunch again…
Hope you enjoyed the random ramblings today. Well, until next time….RAWR!!!